Grabbing hands

I found this great picture on a friend’s blog and it spoke to me. This isn’t how I normally find inspiration but in this case I am glad it did. We all have wants; we want a house, car, husband/wife, job, independence, and body, whatever it is we all have wants. We grasp for something. How simple life would be if we didn’t. What if we weren’t hardwired to hunt for more? In Buddhism desire is one of the five hindrances. It is often unintentionally related to greed because in the old Pali language these two meanings come from the same word. Buddhism does not truly speak of freeing ourselves from want or desire because these things are part of the human spirit. Buddhism does however prescribe that we learn to inspect and analyze what we want in order to control these feelings before they control us. And therein lays the crux of the issue. As humans we want. These wants spring from how easy it is for us to get what we need. Opposable thumbs and big brains allowed our early ancestors to find shelter, food, and water rather easily. We have an ability to make tools and to change our environment. So after those basic needs are met we have some free time on our hands. And idle time makes us think “I can fix that.” And just like that humans created desire. And we began to look for faster and easier ways to do everything from make fire and tools thousands of years ago to storing and retrieving information today. We will unfortunately never rid ourselves of want. And just as unfortunately we also seem to be hardwired to keep all that crap that we’ve collected in the pursuit of making life easier. Few of us can easily get rid of those rewards of our desire, those trophies of conquest, and the spoils of achievement. Just like the flute that was an incredible find on E-Bay. Though I may never be able to play it, I will not be parted from it. –nobody wants to get rid of cool stuff.
Economists see desire as a closely linked motivator to loss, they call this need to hold onto what we acquire as the “Loss aversion” theory. This prescribes that all animals including humans are instinctively possessive. Try to take away a fat dogs bone and you may get bitten. He dreamed of it, he found it, he has it and though he isn’t hungry and he doesn’t need it because he’s fat –he wants it because, well – it’s his. Take for instance the antique car that my neighbor has. He searched for it, found it, and will someday restore it, “someday” –even though it has sat there for years rusting and getting worse off by the day, if you ask him if he would consider selling it - “Never!” . That’s because it’s his, it has made a home in his dream and filled one of the wants that he previously had. He has “loss aversion”. The value he believes he has outweighs the value presented by the sale.
Like my wife’s “fantastic shoes” they hurt her feet, they cause blisters and can only be worn for a few hours at a time –but will she take them back or resell them –“NEVER! Because they look awesome with …” I don’t know who’s giving her those compliments because to me they look like just another pair of sandals with a heel.
So this brings me to Buddha’s point; Desire and Want are perceptions. They are ingrained in us to help us improve our chance of survival by reducing risk, danger and labor so that we can spend more time providing and caring for our children. After that emotion steps in and brainwashes us into thinking about fixing ourselves. “I will be better with or without or if…” Inspect and analyze and then look around yourself and try and remember what thoughts you had before you bought those things on the top shelf or in the back of your closet or in the shed in the back yard. Then you will begin to control Want. But be warned the more you have the more you have to give up –like the young prince who renounced his world to live as a beggar with nothing to call his own.
Unfortunately this is not a battle you will win. Having it once may change your viewpoint for a time but it will take far more battles for you to claim even a small victory.
I know –I was there, living without.
And now 25 years later I am strategizing my next battle.
A new car.
I just realized that I should start writing down why I want to buy a new car so I can analyze it –but before I can do that I need to get a journal so that I can write down and analyze everything that I want. I think the journal should be leather bound –humm maybe it’s time for a new pen. Time to go shopping…

Who's Driving

I realized yesterday that there is a specific time period that I do a poor job of following the Way. I have a tough time seeing everything joyfully and ignoring other peoples actions or idiosyncrasies. You see I drive about 2 hours a day to and from work. So for those two hours I find that I see everything that people do in, with and to their cars. Frankly some of it is disturbing. Now before you scoff at this statement let me say that for the most part my drive is typical interstate driving. There is little traffic and we are all a healthy distance from one another. There are those who read the paper, there’s a guy who practices the trumpet. There are too many women to recall who put on their makeup and there are several folks who I believe are actors or actresses, all rehearsing for the same part. This is because I don’t believe these people could have any other reason to scream and rant on the phone every morning of their lives. At least I hope not.
I am including those points after I get off of the interstate when I am driving through town in morning or evening traffic. I find that I have a fairly short fuse when it comes to people merging into a line or slowing down for a turn. You see I think that these skills must be executed in a specific manner. And when you fail to get into the correct lane early enough then that’s just poor planning and for that error in judgment those folks must take their medicine and drive on past, turn around and try again.
If you need to turn, I prefer to see a blinker and maybe even have a reasonable distance between the blinker coming on and the turn occurring. Pedestrians, cyclists and motorcycles I watch with scrutiny because those folks can move very sporadically. I assure you I am not the same person in a car as I am outside the car. Even as a passenger anyone outside the car is a jerk, fool or just plain crazy. I mumble and curse and talk to myself as though I am testing all the other drivers around me and some unseen person is taking notes and issuing fines to anyone who attracts my wrath.
My kids and wife think I’m “funny” because I mumble and glare and occasionally ask them if they agree with my assessment. They often giggle and shake their heads.
But the worst part is that moment I step from my car –if you were to bump me I would say “pardon me, sorry” , I would let you in front of me in a long line and even start a conversation with you just to be friendly. I would smile at you if you ran by me in a huff. I would stop and help if you fell and I would fully understand if you were lost and needed to slow your pace or stop in front of me while I walked. I might even ask If I could help.
But put me behind the wheel and who knows who’s driving. So If Jesus is my copilot or Buddha’s in the back seat they must be giggling right along with my kids because they sure aren’t commenting on my driving.

IT’S FOOD for goodness sake

This issue has been on my mind this afternoon. I was at the closest grocery store to my office picking up some fruit and I was surprised. This big chain store had very little fruit from Florida. So -Once again I am in a dilemma about food. We are not vegan, though we appreciate the fruits of the earth that we grow. And we go to some effort to support local farmers and those markets that support our local first ideals. In it is such a joy to walk through the cramped and crowded isles our local and family owned food store. From the moment you approach the story you are presented with colors and odors that entice the senses. Fresh herb, and vegetable plants, flowering shrubs and edible plants cover the patio. As you enter you move from orchids and bromeliads to mangos, bananas and tomatoes and apples. The Locally grown section makes up almost half of the produce area and the rest is organic, fresh and well stocked. My kids like finding just the right fruit and veggies; not too ripe and not too hard - peaches or plums or bunch of Swiss chard. I am happy that we have these choices and I am aware that many do not. In the family owned market I am reminded of the bounty and variety of outdoor markets in other countries. I find it kind of sad that in the big box store I am looking for apples in today, with it’s perfect looking produce the ideals of fresh and nutritious foods have been corrupted. The American public has bought into a distorted view of fresh food. Big food companies have marketed happy cows, green giants, grove fresh and heart healthy foods like cell phones or erection medications. We are bombarded with the freshest looking fruits regardless of the taste and nutrition. These Marketing companies know that very few people have pulled an orange from a tree and eaten it, still warm and filled with juice. They know that you don’t want to wash your broccoli or leaf vegetables because of the grit and small insects that are very common in these foods from home grown plots. They know that If you saw how eggs are farmed or how Thanksgiving turkeys are fattened that you , sure as heck would think twice about why you are compromising your health for the low price.
To compete with the healthier community sustained farming movement the food corporations have coined phrases like “green”, farm raised, cage free and hormone free. These names do not live up to what they imply. Even” grass raised” cattle can be labeled grass fed because for the first year or so of their lives the cows do in fact roam a field. But because of the weight differential that occurs between them and their concrete pen raised brethren –the grass fed fellows are fed a high protein diet that includes proteins that are easily absorbed and enough carbs to ensure fast weight gain. Meanwhile as they stand in a community produces watery nastiness the Grass fed beginnings of their lives fade from memory as they are “finished” on the feed lot. The Marketing divisions of Gigantic corporations have patented and sold people on these catch words and phrases but have failed to improve the common growing practices. Worse yet these same patented phrases have been defined by these same companies and the FDA has accepted these definitions. Cage free? Do you really believe that? It’s just a bigger cage. Organic –well many of the pesticides are organic, so is the wax and the genetic modifications.
Food should be a ritual of awareness. Know how it grows, be aware of where it grows, be thankful for the growers, be mindful of its preparation and when preparing it have fun and taste often. I love to cook and if it takes a little longer to make a salad because I am cleaning veggies or cutting away bruised or damages parts or because i'm cutting radish florets or making curly accents out of the green onions or because I am in the yard gathering edible flowers –That’s OK because that little touch makes it more enjoyable to eat. It feeds body and soul. Next time you are at the grocery store identify one meal where you will think of where and how your produce was grown. For that one meal think of how it looks and question if it is grown for looks and resistance to shipping damage or if it’s grown for taste and nutrition – and for that one meal TRY something new –try something local. And involve the family in these choices –I think that you will be surprised when you explain how things are grown, where they come from, and what feelings your family has about food. Ask them what defines “goodness”, “freshness”, and “healthy”.
Once you define these things as a family or for yourself then “For goodness sake” should be at the top of your shopping list – , Because that my friends is what food is.
And you are worth it!