So on this wonderful day I wanted to relax, and read my new raku book under the budding trees. I also wanted to throw a pot or two and smoke two small pots that I had made last year. There are so-many things that I want to do. That struck me as the theme of many conversations that I have had with people over the years. Conversations that lead towards bad endings, hurt feelings, broken engagements and even car accidents. What makes us take that spare day, 12 or more hours of unscheduled freedom, and section it into tangerine like morsels to be crowded full of a months worth of no-time-wants. I think it is a lot of things on the surface. But as I swung in the hammock earlier today, struggling to read the 5th page of my book, it struck me. We are afraid. The fear of accomplishing nothing of value is hardwired into us. We are born with tasks set out before us. Hold your head up, roll over, crawl, stand, say the first word and so forth. And as parents we rate our child like any other accomplishment. Did we see results on time, early or late. Teeth straight, speaks well, reads well -good breeding stock -
I have had difficulty reading for many years now and for someone who used to be avidly reading several books at any given time whenever I can focus on and digest the written word I celebrate it. So this morning I sat outside and read. No deadlines, no expectations, had I read one sentence or the full chapter I was happy to be able to read. I did get to lay in the hammock, I did get to turn some clay. But there was no pot or even a semblance of a pot completed. As a matter of fact I had so much fun trying to just get the clay centered on the wheel , that I did that for about an hour. And I feel like that was a great learning experience. So when my wife walks in the door and asks what I did today I will say I read 4 pages that I remember. I worked on centering clay on the wheel and turned some clay into oddly shaped cylinders and then tossed it back into the clay bag. And I wrote a short page on the problems that arise within all of us when we expect to accomplish anything, though we are in control of very little.
How was your day?
No comments:
Post a Comment