That’s gotta be worth something!

I was a practicing conservator for many years. Both of my galleries sold local and regional artists works, rare books and manuscripts and we specialized in restoring old frames, and works of art on paper. SO I have many stories to tell not all of them nice and happy. But one that sticks out as a good reference for everyone to learn from, involved an excited young couple. They had found a piece of art at an antique auction. The auctioneer had presented it as an original, signed Gustave Dore engraving. The frame was stated to be the original frame from the same period as the engraving. This is a very nice engraving, well framed for the period in a gold leafed ornate frame. The young couple fell in love with the detail and spirit of the engraving. Dore after all was a master of masters in his art. They paid $200.00 at the auction and were very happy to have paid this. They brought the piece to us and asked what we could do. My sales man told them we could clean and repair the frame and glass, but he could not speak of more until we opened the framed art and inspected all that was now hidden behind the dustcover.
I also love Paul Gustave Dore. I own a first printed edition of several of the books he illustrated. My favorite is Dante’s Inferno. So when I saw the piece they had brought in I understood their pleasure and attachment to it.
I called them later that evening to discuss further restorations, if they might want them.
Here’s the life lesson.
When dealing with things in life that you hold dear –there is no dollar value. I am speaking of those things are and should remain valueless. We should never even consider the monetary worth of a painting, a plate, a car, a vase, or anything if we are emotionally attached to it. NEVER.
When the young man put me on speaker as I presented him with the various things that I could do for the engraving they had brought to me, I realized I needed to trod softly. The cost for my work and the restoration that I could perform was about$350.00. That included restoration to the frame and new UV coated glass and cleaning of the engraving. I cringed as the wife excitedly told me about the research that they had done so far on Dore. They had found out how well known and prolific an artist he was and how collectable his engravings were considered to be.
I asked what references they were using and explained that sometimes the values presented were estimated or perceived. Then the question that I was dreading came. The question that we have all asked at one time or another when we consider the broader value of something we deem unusual, unique, antique or “surely valuable”.
“We’ll, said the man, I consider the price of the restoration to be an investment, after all this is a very valuable piece of art, ISN’T IT?”
I do not like to deceive or in any other way exaggerate art. Art collection is speculative and one should only collect art that you love emotionally unless you are willing to treat it like a share of stock.
So I replied. “Gustave Dore and his apprentices were first and foremost illustrators. The piece that you have is a page from a book published in about 1865. These books are fairly large folio’s and the engraving quality is very good for a mass publication. This piece however is glued to a composite compressed paper board. In my opinion it wouldn’t be something that you would be able to resell for more than what you are considering investing in it.”
The phone went silent. “Hold on", I said. Why would you want to sell it? Isn’t this one of the first pieces of art that you have purchased? “Yes “Replied the young wife. We are in our first home and we just loved the angels in that picture.” “It has so much detail that it just draws you into what’s happening, said the husband.”
“So how much are those feelings worth?” I asked. “I know”, they said together and then laughed.
There’s the lesson, shared emotion, excitement, enjoyment, whatever you are feeling when you look at that Thing makes it valuable- not what someone else is willing to pay.
The credit card company tells us that the memories that we make on an expensive vacation are “Priceless”. I say the emotions that are stirred whenever we look at that old photo of grandma, or hold that little clay pot we made in 3rd grade, are very valuable. Just like buying food, clothes and shelter because these things are required we must find and hold onto those things that we recognize the emotional value of. So when you still have that antique engraving that you bought for your first home –because it spoke to you and you loved it; it should be treated like the treasure it is. When it stirs no more emotion and cannot speak. Well then you can only get what someone else will pay for those same feelings. And then, just like I am when I get my annual 401 statement, you might be surprised.

Note to self

Have you ever received a letter -not an e-mail, a letter handwritten and personal? Doesn’t that feel good. Someone took the time to tell you something they thought you would like to know.
I have taken that one step further. Every so often I will write myself a note. I don't waste the stamp, I just put it in with bills to be paid or attach it to the Sierra Club calendar in the kitchen a few months from now. I like it to be kind of surprising when I find it. Like when you put on a winter jacket for the first time this year and find money in the pocket -that’s nice, right?
So here is my -Note to self:
Today you will smile more. Make it a point to smile as often as possible –There are a million reasons to smile. Today you will laugh more often, if for no other reason than to be healthy, happiness is healthy.
Today you will eat less, eat healthy, and eat mindfully. Mindful of the amount. Mindful of the quality. Mindful of the origin. Today you will calmly enjoy every bite and eat no more than is filling.
Today you will be creative. You are an artist and should strive to be artistic in every aspect of your life. Today you will look at something new and artistically express it - draw, paint, design, write, and create –you are an artist.
Today you will focus inward on how healthy and fit you are. You are a vital, living, powerful person. You are much healthier than most people, focus on your how healthy you are.
Today you will allow yourself to feel worthy, and capable. You have permission to do what you have told yourself to do. You have permission and a responsibility to do these things because you are expected to do the best job that you can as Husband, Father, and Friend. You are worth making yourself better –take time to do so now.

De ja-vu - just another turtle

Ever feel like you’re just another turtle in a long line of turtles. When someone yells we all duck, when something bigger than us glides over we tuck our heads in our shells. When the sun moves and our place on the log is no longer warm and cozy, we have no choice but stay and wait or Jump into the water and find another log.
I’m there this morning. I had a sunny and warm spot out on the end of the log. All my turtle buddies stacked up like evening traffic behind me. Things were cozy. Then out of nowhere a loud noise, then we all see the hawk’s shadow, and the sun finally moves below the tree line and this section of the log is in the shade. So now the dilemma hits all of us at once. “Well turtles -I choose to stay”.
A couple of my buddies have dropped off in search of bright warm logs. But I’ve been here a while I am comfortable and I have the sense to realize that I don’t have any control of the sun. It’ll be out here on this log again tomorrow almost definitely.
I have seen days of rain and wind when it was more comfortable in the water. I’ve even been around when the river flooded and we all had to get out of the water and let a whole new group of logs roll by until things settled down and we had our pick of new logs to climb into the sun on. –Some turned out not so comfortable. But in the end there have always been logs, there has always been water, and there are always comfortable places in the sun where I can find myself surrounded by other turtles –lined up like afternoon traffic trying to get comfortable and stay dry as long as possible.

Metaphor for what metta is for!

Religious Composting

I believe that I am like many folks here in the US and I’m sure abroad as well when we are speaking about religion. My grandparents on one side were of two different faiths, Agnostic and Episcopalian. My grandmother on the other side was Catholic. My parents were of two different beliefs Catholic and Atheist. My wife has similar religious mixes in her family. We are, when it comes to religious upbringing, compost.
Over thousands of years people have been marrying outside of their religious beliefs and practices. This marriage can be harmonious or not, but either way it produces offspring that believe and practice things differently than their parents. The cycle of change is never ending. But surprisingly the seeds that grow in the compost of many of the world’s great religions are not always healthy and fertile. Some of these can be called weeds. Pesky things that creep up almost overnight until they have begun to show up everywhere. Some of these weeds fail to get established and others find a place to live where they are appreciated and nurtured and then they are no longer considered a pest. They become accepted into the broader understanding. But the old stock religions, those that have evolved to outlast the weeds and perhaps even been grafted to far older beliefs. These are the great products of the religious compost heap. This cycle has actually changed and created some religious beliefs that we hold dear today. Buddhism is a product of religious compost. Just look at the various sects and regions of Buddhism. The root stock is solid. In many regions Buddhism was grafted to older more established religious practice and adopted by practitioners and scholars alike. Looking at the spread of Buddhism in the US, we can see the religious compost process in action. It has been adapted and incorporated into many different views within the last 50 years. And yet the fruits are still as appealing and nourishing as I imagine they were when the first seeds and pruned branches hit the bin. Feeding the masses requires vast and endless varieties of fruit. Cultivation and hybridization has served that need since the dawn of belief. So in my home we celebrate every view and every ideal. Because having a full and bountiful basket to choose from is far better than eating what you are handed.

Celebrate diversity

I loved that van ...

At a party recently I made a mental note of a change in conversation that I got caught in. I made a mental note because it had the theme of nostalgia. I hadn’t found this line of conversation appealing in the past. I am younger than most of my friends, they are all retired or close to it, their kids are grown, they are old. So when I found myself in a conversation where I used the phrase “I can remember when…”I turned on the mental pocket recorder. I have never been one to wax quixotic about things before. I love technology, I adore modern innovations. But when someone picked up this little toy and asked me about my VW van, well a warm flush came over me. As I took the little toy from them I told them how my wife got it for me several years ago and as I spoke I was transported to the vinyl seat overlooking a bus style steering wheel and nothing between me and the headlights but poly-foam and thin sheet metal.
Wow; what is that –it just happened again.
Ok I admit I really had fun in my van. That was 20 years ago. So this conversation that I remember had a sickeningly sweet smell of “Man, I remember when …”
I can’t stand that. I can’t stand it because when people begin to measure their happiness, success and appearance with what they think they’ve lost or think they need; well then they have already fallen from the tree house of self worth. I agree that we are all envious, and even resentful of things we don’t have. I think civilization has been built on people getting something that they want. Land, gold, oil, grain these are the things that wars are fought over. This is the bad side of desire. So when people say “I’ll be much happier if…” or “When I (blank) everything will be great.” I tune them out. I also tune out old people when they start reminiscing about what they had, should have done, or wish they could do again. I have trained myself to value where I am. I have spent long hours focusing on where I am in life and how lucky I am to have friends, wife, kids, and all that I have. I have worked really hard to prevent myself from having destructive thoughts that diminish my value as a person.
So when I realized that I missed how I felt driving my VW van, with those vinyl seats, and the huge steering wheel, I made a mental note. I noted how much I missed the little corner window that could instantly blast me with wind when I opened it. It was awesome when I drove for hours, immersed in music and scenery and the ever present RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR of the engine.
I could fit 10 friends in that van. At one point I had two recliners as middle seats. I found them when I was dumpster diving behind married-housing on campus right after graduation. I loved that van.
It didn’t have airbags, seatbelts, air conditioning or a heater. But 4 of us could sleep in it –not comfortably but there were many times that we did. I really loved that van.
The conversation came to an abrupt end when my buddy said “Why don’t you get another one, the kids would love it.” I was horrified. I said, “”An old one? No Way man! Those things are dangerous and very unreliable. And a new one –they’re just not the same.”
Since that party I have been thinking more and more about the past, and how I would really enjoyed having this or that. Hiking the AT again, Surfing, traveling on a shoestring. And I think of how these things made me feel. What I realized is that all of us have that something that takes us back or propels us forward in our life and makes us see our self in a different way, a more appealing and desirable way. A new car, a face lift, more money, a larger house, these are things that many of us think will improve our life. I realized that if I got myself an old VW van I wouldn’t see it the same way I saw it then. It wouldn’t make me feel the same way it does in my memory. Remembering isn’t dangerous. It’s acting on the desire to be someone else that’s harmful. I realized that quite often people go to great lengths to get what they think they need to be happy or appealing or successful only to realize that they may have gotten what they wanted but they are the same person. I decided I don’t want to be an old guy in the old VW van. I decided that it’s ok to just flashback and enjoy the ride. And I listen closely when the old guys I hang out with say, “Hey man, remember when…” Yah –I remember, and wasn’t it awesome.
Have I told you about how I got this little hula girl…

Fish cakes and other happy foods

In my home food is art, nutritious and yummy art. My wife and I are pretty focused on nutritious and healthy but we cook very differently. She approaches food like a pharmacist. She uses precise amounts of select ingredients to make tasteful meal. I dive into the culinary arts like Jackson Pollock. I throw color and taste and smell into a bowl of emotion and display it like a collage. My grandmother used to say food is food, but a good meal takes creativity, daring and love. I like to make my family sit up with wonder when the kitchen smells start to migrate and smile when they get to the table.
I have recently introduced my family to mindful eating. It’s not our cup-o- green tea. We like to savor our meals yes, but we love talking and laughing (we never do this with a full mouth) and gaining the full spectrum of nourishment from the meal together. We do take time to enjoy each bite and we always discuss the ingredients and quite often discuss who and where they came from My wife and son have the uncanny ability to end each meal with the perfect bite. That last forkful is a combination of just the right combination of items. My daughter doesn’t like foods to touch so she sets up her plate in shifts. I am the opposite; I make faces on my plate any chance I get. Smiley faces of Ketchup are common.
We all have different likes and dislikes. We all taste, smell, and see food in a unique way. My glass of water may taste different to me than it would to you. But human nature demands that we all feel connected. Because of this food has been a casualty of conformity. And for many this need to conform makes it far less appealing to have fun cooking. My wife is a victim of this but her rehab is almost complete. Don’t stay stuck in a “white bread” rut. Use a cookie cutter before you make your toast. Save the scraps and fry them with a little oil and spices – croutons are yummy anytime. Put blue food coloring in your poached or scrambled eggs and serve them with sweet pickles and melon slices. Eat cake for breakfast, put berries in your water, and add edible flowers to your oatmeal. Make an effort to laugh and talk about what you eat. Try foods you’re scared of like eel, raw oysters, beets, and hot sauce.
Have fun creating, keep it simple and colorful, and above all if you make pancakes NEVER make them round.
I find that nourishment for the soul comes in many ways and some of them are served hot.

As a Buddhist I have a hard time imagining heaven. When friends and family members speak of it they present many of the same aspects. Heaven to them is a place of no illness, no want, no need and no hate. To them heaven is unbelievably beautiful, filled with mansions and palaces and all the worldly things that are denied here. In heaven they will be surrounded by all their loved ones friends and relatives who have died. When I have been asked, I tell them that I have a hard time understanding the concept because I am pretty darned impressed with right here. Sunsets in the desert, sun rises over the Caribbean, and the redwood forests and birth are all pretty hard to beat.
Illness makes life interesting and challenging and teaches us humility, compassion, and makes me appreciate every moment. When my mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor –wow life and mom suddenly got much more valuable.
Desire? We all enjoy our desires, but it can be overcome –just ask a monk, nun, priest or better yet ask yourself what you have that you don’t need to live out the week. I would venture to say that these things that come to mind are yours because of want, not need. . But the other side of desire drives technology, psychology, ecology, and all the studies of something to make life better for the next generation. Desire drives us to be better and do better. Don’t get rid of all desire only the aspects that don’t benefit our fellow man.

And need? All those things we need make life so much more incredible, why would anyone ever want to be without them. Air, water, sun, plants, animals, and other people –I need these things and what they can provide.
No hate. The lack of hate is an interesting part of heaven to me, mainly because so many people seem quite attached to it. Why would you want to be somewhere for an eternity where you weren’t yourself?

Do you hate something?

Maybe someone, a food maybe, or perhaps you hate a thing like cancer or death. Have you ever thought of letting that hate go –just try? Give it up like a bad habit. I bet you have a hard time letting go.
I tell my friends that I do believe in an afterlife. I just don’t see it the way they do. To them Heaven is somewhere you go. To me heaven is somewhere you live.

Gate Gate Paragate