What's my Name

I was taught that as Buddhist I must move towards unity with all things. I must resign myself to being inconsequential and not seeing myself as anything. I should not work to not become a non being of nothingness; I should merely be and allow all to consume what I am. But that’s pretty hard for me. I believe my name represents who and what I am.
In the US as in many modernized countries today people are inundated with numbers. We have an address, we have a phone number, we have a tax number, birth date, medical number, extension, locker code, gate code and on, and on. Why? Really ?–Why all the numbers? There was a time when people were known by their name alone. Think about that. You would have had all the information you needed about a person with just their name. And the interesting part was that most everyone was proud to give out their name. My great grandfather put his name on everything, his business, his home, his clothes, and even his sons. Everything he touched seemed to have his initials or full name associated with it. He believed that by placing his name on what he did or what he made, it showed that the item was reliable and trustworthy. “Like Sears” he would say, “we are as trusted as Sears”. But now we have numbers. If you call Sears you get connected to a number, an extension at Sears’s home office or in a branch store. You will actually get connected and reconnected to many numbers depending on the reason you called. Trust has nothing to do with it anymore. These days most company’s seem to see names as a liability. Most large companies are actually held or owned by someone you’ve never heard of. Smaller companies are mostly –“Doing business as…” or DBA. That means that Fred’s Fast Foods is actually Rinchopali Patel’s food delivery service. But Mr. Patel is just a subcontractor for a much larger food service that never deals with the person who’s found a toenail in their Chinese spring roll.
This doesn’t help me much when I am trying to instill a sense of pride and honor in my kids. When my daughter told a lie –I asked her if she minded if I called her Feebe the Liar. She said very emphatically “No!”. When I asked why not, she said she wasn’t a liar. I replied that when she lies or is dishonest those behaviors are forever attached to her name. So since she lied I was sure that some people may already be referring to her as Feebe the liar. I let her know that over time they will forget that she lied so long as she doesn’t do it again. Thankfully, the issue hasn’t come up again. But the idea still resounds with me every time I go out to dinner, read a news article, see a piece of art. I judge the person I am served by, reading, or viewing by my interaction with them.
Steve behind the counter at the pharmacy might have a degree and be an awesome individual but when he gets my order wrong three times in a row he is “Steve the idiot”. When he lies to me and tells me that the Dr. ordered it wrong (I know this to be a lie) he becomes “Steve the liar”. Maybe I’m old fashioned or maybe I’m just too demanding but I believe that truth and responsibility are chained to a person’s character. So as a Buddhist I give everyone one hundred chances. I could never call Steve an idiot or think badly of him for more than a second. But I admit, I will be mentally hoping that he doesn’t lie to me when we speak again. I will think-“Come on Steve, be honest, be sincere take responsibility.” I know he means well.
But others are vocal and unforgiving about such issues and I see this is Steve’s fault –he knows he doesn’t need to lie.
Beverly who serves my family’s breakfast once a week at the local café never covers for the cooks –“If it isn’t right- she says- it won’t come to the table”. And she’s right. Food has been late to arrive, foods’ been a little salty, or whatever –but what Bev controls is true and respectable. Bev goes out of her way to make us feel like customers who are paying her salary. To us her name means good, fast honest service, and her actions let us know that is important to her.
What’s important to many folks may not necessarily be the same as me, but My name carries humanity, compassion, reliability and responsibility with it and hopefully I am not the only one who cares.