The circular motion of change, shakuhachi

At the moment I am obsessed with the shakuhachi. This unique instrument of distinctly Japanese fame and renown has the ability to create three octaves and emit undertones that make a most haunting and emotional sound. And I simply hate it!
I have been playing for over 20 years and a bit over a year ago I decided that I needed to change what I was doing. I decided that instead of a roaming and wandering tune (which is a method of meditation for me) I would like to sound like one of the guys on the meditation CD’s I have. I never had a desire to make a CD of my own or even play in front of people. I just wanted to play in a more contemporary way. So I began by signing up for a Flute camp.

Change is good.
The camp made me realize that I had A LOT to learn. Firstly, before the camp even began I was informed that I was not prepared to be a “real” shakuhachi player. I was told that I had the wrong sized flute. And that my flute was not tuned properly. In other words cheap. A decent student flute can run anywhere from a few hundred to just under 2 thousand Dollars –not yen. So I found an awesome flute on C’s list. It had all the upgrades, which are surprisingly technical for a bamboo flute.
When I arrived at the flute camp I was immersed in history, music, a varied group of students –and I was exposed to Japanese Kanji; shakuhachi notation. It looks like scribbling with a brush. But all went well and I learned to read the notation and began to make some interesting sounds. I feel as though I have improved greatly in the last several months since that camp. Improved, in that when I listen to the meditation CD’s I like, I can play along somewhat. But I can’t meditate, I have to think too much.

Back around.
So my desire to change made me act. My actions toward change changed me and the way I enjoyed my flute playing.
Since I was making all these “improvements” to my playing I felt like I needed to make a move to become much more connected to the art of the shakuhachi. So I have purchased a true Japanese antique, a 200+ year old shakuhachi. I had the flute cleaned and had some restoration done and when I played it … I realized it sounded just like my cheap flute. So the Komūso monks of Japan that wandered around in musical meditation, playing the shakuhachi for hours and days at a time used simple, unrefined, and loosely tuned flutes. All the contemporary shakuhachi music I hear on the meditation CD’s was first played hundreds of years ago on roughly made, cheap flutes by Komūso monks, guys who just wanted to play for meditation.
So I am, more educated, more diverse, poorer –and surely- impermanently changed.